A Whole New Me?

Growing Up

It’s been quite a month since my last post.  I feel like things have really begun to change in my life – - unexpected and almost unbelievable changes.  I think tilling Mom’s garden awakened some sort of alternate reality inside me.  I have been reading by choice (non-homework-non-fiction – a first for me), building self watering containers from every cat litter bucket I can find, actually weeding both my mom’s garden and my own, getting up early to walk Sloans Lake, eating cucumbers and apples instead of chips and candy bars, and in general feeling like my life is finally coming into line with my values more and more each day.  I have always been a lazy person who has traditionally gotten by on charm, an eagerness to please others, and a decent sense of humor.  I have always been willing to work hard for someone else’s benefit, but have almost never taken any time to “sharpen the saw” as it were, completely ignoring any kind of life-maintenance type work.  I kept telling myself that I will someday be the person I want to be – - resourceful, altruistic, disciplined, energetic, motivated…  I have gone through phases where I tried to will myself to become this version of myself, but I have traditionally been a big ‘relaps-er’.  I would make some noble but impossible commitment, keep it for three days, break it, and determine that there was no use even trying to change, and immediately go back to whatever way of life I fostered previously.  Suddenly, I feel like a different person.  I’m not talking about some religious experience, where “I’ve seen the light”, but I definitely feel like it has become much easier to be the person I have always wanted to be.  I am really enjoying my life, and I don’t miss Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as much as I thought I would.  In fact, that’s the great thing about the changes I’m experiencing:  I’m not really consciously making them, they are just sort of happening on their own.  I feel like part of my brain has been reprogrammed or something.  Take the change in diet, for example.  I really don’t even remember deciding to stop drinking soda, I just don’t drink it anymore (except on very rare occasions when I just want one).   Is this what growing up feels like?

Shameless Plug

By the way, I have no idea why, but I kind of blame my new mode of thinking on a certain book.  Again, a disclaimer:  I don’t know if this book sold me some new ideas, or just cemented several thoughts I’ve been having, but I first noticed my mind changing when I started reading “The Urban Homestead”.  If you are at all interested in gardening, composting toilets, harvesting rainwater or grey water, biking to work, or just seeing new sustainability possibilities, read this book.  I enjoyed it so thoroughly that I will definitely read it again.  An excerpt from the introduction:

• “We’ve also shifted from being consumers to being  producers.  Sure we still buy stuff.  Olive Oil.  Parmigiano reggiano.  Wine.  Flour.  Chocolate.  And we’re no strangers to consumer culture, not above experiencing a little shiver of desire when walking into an Apple computer store.  But still, we do not accept that spending is our only form of power.  There is more power in creating than in spending.  We are producers, neighbors, friends.”

Next post… *ahem*

• “Did you know it’s illegal to harvest your rainwater in Denver?”

jeremy.

p.s. - Here’s a picture of Sloans Lake at 5 a.m. taken with my phone during my walk.

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